Let Peace Begin with Justice

My mind is so occupied by news about the Ampatuan massacre. I've known even before that Maguindanao is an election hotspot, but it was only now that I really got the idea of how chaotic politics in Maguindanao is.

The victims were civilians who fearlessly tried to exercise democracy. Some sought it by deciding to file their certificates of candidacy for public office. I'm pretty sure there had been warnings and threats surrounding their plan to run against the ruling family, but still they made their way to the COMELEC office, peaceful and armless. The others were journalists who were supposed to be enjoying press freedom. They could have brought us news that would bring hope to everyone. It was found out later on that other victims were not even included in the convoy but were merely passers-by. The people who are mandated by law to protect them mercilessly took their lives.

I suddenly remembered the song "Let There be Peace on Earth", which I learned when I was in Grade 2. It speaks of one's desire to live in peace with the rest of the world, which goes with a vow for it to begin with him. I found myself crying and asking myself how will I ever possibly be powerful enough to bring peace to the world? I feel hopeless, helpless and inutile.

As long as there are people who cling on to their power by selling their souls to the devil, peace will remain a dream and a total impossibility. But if dreaming is the only thing I can do, then I shall keep on doing so. I shouldn't lose hope that democracy still works. We have to make it work, the same way as the victims themselves tried. Never will I stop believing that no matter how big the evils surrounding us are, we have a bigger God who will never abandon us.

I hope and pray that justice be served to the victims of the Ampatuan massacre... before I totally lose my will to dream.

Survey on Social Networking

Instruction: Kindly copy the questionnaire below and paste it either on MS word or on the "comments" section below this post. Put an [x] on the choices corresponding to your answer. If you choose the first option, email your answers to songbird1983@gmail.com. Thanks!

A. Facebook

1.    Do you have a Facebook account?        
[  ] Yes            [  ] No

2.    How often do you log on?
[  ] Daily            [  ] 1-5 times/week        [  ] Twice a month   
[  ] Once a month    [  ] Others (pls. specify) _________________

3.    How much time do you spend on the site each day you log in?
[  ] More than 8 hrs    [  ] 5-8 hrs            [  ] 1-4 hrs
[  ] Less than an hour

4.    How many Facebook friends do you have?
[  ] More than 1,000    [  ] 500-1000            [  ] Less than 500

5.    Do you invite/approve friend requests from people you barely know or those you don’t know at all?
[  ] Yes        [  ] No            [  ] Often but not at all times

6.    In a scale of 1-5 (5 being the highest), rank your activities on Facebook based on the portion of time you spend on them.
___Status updates and comments
___Uploading/reading/watching videos, photos and links
___Blogging
___Games, quizzes and other applications
___News


B. Twitter

1.    Do you have a Twitter account?       
[  ] Yes            [  ] No

2.    How often do you log on?
[  ] Daily            [  ] 1-5 times/week        [  ] Twice a month   
[  ] Once a month    [  ] Others (pls. specify) _________________

3.    How much time do you spend on the site each day you log in?
[  ] More than 8 hrs    [  ] 5-8 hrs            [  ] 1-4 hrs
[  ] Less than an hour

4.    How many people do you follow?
[  ] More than 500    [  ] 301-500            [  ] 100-300
[  ] Less than 100

5.    How many followers do you have?
[  ] More than 500    [  ] 301-500            [  ] 100-300
[  ] Less than 100


C. Youtube

1.    Do you have a Youtube account?       
[  ] Yes            [  ] No

2.    How often do you visit the website?
[  ] Daily            [  ] 1-5 times/week        [  ] Twice a month   
[  ] Once a month    [  ] Others (pls. specify) _________________

3.    How much time do you spend on the site each day you log in?
[  ] More than 8 hrs    [  ] 5-8 hrs            [  ] 1-4 hrs
[  ] Less than an hour

4.    Do you upload videos that are available to the public?
[  ] Yes            [  ] No

5.    Do you post and/or read comments below the videos?
[  ] Read and/or post    [  ] Read only            [  ] Post only
[  ] Neither


D. All social networks

1.    Do you exercise caution in posting updates, files and comments in social networks?
[  ] Yes            [  ] No

2.    How do you perceive the freedom in expressing yourself in social networks as against personal interactions?
[  ] It’s much harder to express myself in social networks.
[  ] I find more freedom expressing myself in social networks.
[  ] They are just the same.

3.    Do you think improper conduct on social networks can hold one liable for libel or defamation?
[  ] Yes            [  ] No

Put your explanation below if you wish to elaborate:


4.    If you read or learn about derogatory remarks or any other offensive materials against you on a social network, will you institute a libel suit against the doer?
 [  ] Yes            [  ] No

Put your explanation below if you wish to elaborate:

If You Speak from Your Heart, You'll Be Heard

My political awakening started during Cory's death. I cried on Facebook and Twitter. Then there came the news about those shameless extravagant dinners and foreign trips of our President and her "dabarkads". Again, I shouted my anger and disappointment using those cyber megaphones. And then during the twin tragedies of Ondoy and Pepeng, Twitter and Facebook shouted back and asked us to echo the summon for heroes. I'd like to think I complied.

Who cares about my shout-outs? No matter what I say, no one will hear me. I call my tweets and posts "whispered screams". So yeah, I can say anything and be as tactless as I could get, because only a few would listen. Take this blog, for instance. I bet I'm the only person reading this. Haha! Well, this is just an online diary.

But recent events told me that when you speak from your heart and your words are sincere, it's impossible for you not to be heard.

I found my tweets being followed by supporters of the same cause I am advocating. These are people I don't know personally, but they became my friends because we're singing to the same tune. They gave my thoughts a little push. Thanks for their RTs.

The next thing that happened is probably the biggest - Noynoy Aquino actually followed me! was one of those 45 tweeps he heard. OMG! Then one Wednesday night, Jiggy Cruz and Bam Aquino said on RockEd that they know me. Are they serious? *blush*

Some big tweetnames and many other active tweeps - they're following me. I actually feel pressured. I tell you (talking to myself), when these people learn that I'm so "overreacting" about this, my face will turn "pussy red" (That's not "bastos". That's a nail polish color. Credits to my good friends, Doris and Jhack. I knew nothing about nail coloring until I met these two fab law students.)

This might just be - well, it is - no big stuff. After all, I've read a research work theorizing that user accounts in social networks are mere online personalities controlled by real people. The idea is that you and your facebook (and twitter) account are two different persons. (Should the other one be called a "person", too?) But nonetheless, it's still the concept of "alter ego" that works, meaning, the online person is still yourself. Duh? Why am I saying this? Wala lang. This is just a free flow of thoughts. Perhaps I'm being haunted by my deadline in Advance Legal Writing. Hahaha!

Let me get back to the bottomline, as the title says - if you speak from your heart, you'll be heard. Let me divide this realization into two ideas:

1. No voice is so small if the message comes from your heart.

Yes, I'd like to believe that all my tweets and posts are products of my conscious reflections, even the nastiest things I say. Sometimes I just mean to bully someone, and sometimes I mean to be nonsense. But just the same, I mean it! Peace! I never expected to be heard by people other than my small circle of real-life friends. I am not a public figure in the first place. But since these people started reading - and sometimes echoing - the things I say, I began to ask myself: What did I do to deserve such distinguished audience? I didn't advertise, I didn't get myself interviewed in some TV show, I didn't do anything... but speak from my heart.That made all these possible.

2. Because you are being heard, be careful with what you speak.

I'm starting to filter my words now. People don't deserve to be flooded with nonsense things on the web. They listen to me, and I am bound to tell them things that make sense. The term is very wide anyway, so I guess I'm not imposing some restrictions upon myself that would violate the "freedom of expression" clause. I can speak anything - from serious politics to personal thoughts - that would (hopefully) be worth those 5-or-less seconds of their time. I assume upon myself the responsibility for whatever I say. I try to make sure that I convey the right message. For me, it's OK to not be paid too much attention. What I simply wouldn't want is to be misunderstood.

Do I need to explain how these two things apply to real-life situations?

(Uh-oh! I'm speaking about politics again. No big deal, I'm just talking to myself. Hehehe...)

Next year, your "small voice" (but then again I tell you there's no such thing as that) will get the chance to be heard through the ballots. (For purposes of this blog post, I'd like to give "heard" and "read", or any words of similar import, the same meaning. I'm appealing to your common sense and expertise in figures of speech. Come on!) If you are qualified, GO OUT AND VOTE! Oops! Not yet! REGISTER FIRST! Time is running out. People love to cram, really. But I'm glad my Mom made me go home to Quezon and register 2 weeks after I turned 18. That was in August 2001, 3 months after the elections, which means the next election was still 3 years away. OA? I don't think so. The best thing about it was that I didn't have to wait for hours, which is the very reason why people get "tamad" to register. *Clap, clap, clap* But then again, as long as it's not yet too late to register, do it! Don't let your chance pass by. You're no longer minors, hello? And would you want to be likened to civil interdicts? Exercise your fundamental right to vote. That's the essence of democracy. Your single vote counts. (Let's do our best to make sure it does. Be vigilant!)

The next thing to remember - and this is not only important, but essential - is to choose your leaders very carefully. The last thing we would want to experience "again" is to be governed by people who put their personal interests above the general welfare of the people. The best way to say NO to corruption is to elect leaders who are not corrupt. (Oh! Did I just spell LE CIRQUE? Hihi!). We still have enough time to get to know these candidates. Only entrust our country to people with good hearts. At the end of the day, when they are already seated, their governance will not be influenced by their debating skills, pogi points and money. It shall be the heart and the mind that shall influence their discretion. Please, please, please... Exercise your judgment carefully. Get to know them, and I mean the real person behind the coats and barongs, not the sweet smiles you see on those TV ads and streamers (and relief goods, damn it!)

Have I said enough (or too much)? I won't bother to measure, just as long as I was able to deliver the right message - to myself? No, I don't think I'll be left unheard. After all, I have spoken from my heart.

Lessons from Ondoy

This is not yet my full account of what I have experienced during the typhoon. I still can't find any courage to recollect my emotions one by one. Perhaps, when all these are over, I will do some editing on this post.

I was not one of those people that needed to be rescued. I am one of the fortunate few who were at a safe place when it happened. We were stuck at the second floor of our school. Neither did I have to do some cleaning up because, praise God, flood did not reach our house. This is just a short recollection of the lessons I learned from Ondoy, a calamity that has become a humbling experience for all of us. 

• With very limited supply of food and water, I learned how to CONSERVE resources.
• Some of my classmates worried about their families, and so I learned the meaning of COMPASSION.
• When we were asked to form a queue for free dinner courtesy of our school admin, I learned about HUMILITY.
• We were offered free film showing and videoke that night, I learned to SMILE DESPITE THE HARD TIMES.
• When the flood subsided the following morning and we were able to go home, I learned the value of GRATEFULNESS.
• Finally, when I went to the relief center to bring my donations, I learned the value of SHARING.

But in all those things, what I learned the most is the power of PRAYER.

God bless our beloved country!

Isang Bote, Isang Lata Mula kay Future Atty.

ALL BAR EXAMINEES: 

The DLSU Student Council will provide donation boxes on October 4 (last Sunday of the Bar exams) at the DLSU campus for the "Isang Bote, Isang Lata Mula Kay Future Atty" drive. Please bring 1 bottle of mineral water and 1 canned good on the said day. If each will bring one, there'll be 6,000 to be given to those in need. Please pass the info around. GOD BLESS YOU.

Yet another way of helping the victims of Ondoy. Please spread the news.

Distinguished Heroes During the Great Flood

Philippine Man Loses Own Life After Saving Dozens from Floods 

I cried buckets when I read the news online. Muelmar is a hero, and he adds up to the countless reasons why I’m so proud to be a Filipino. I hope he could get some recognition from our government. Let every Filipino know his story so he could serve as an inspiration to us. I hope his heroism extends beyond saving people during the typhoon, and goes as far as touching our lives and teaching us to care for others the way he did. Salamat, Muelmar. Hindi matatawaran ang iyong kabayanihan. Ikinararangal ka namin. Karangalan para sa akin ang maging kapwa mo Pilipino.
 

Judge on Jetski Saves 100  

Yes, Hon. Ralph Lee of QC RTC Branch 83, you are Superman! Not only those 100 lives you saved are thankful to you. Kami rin po, we admire your heroism. Thank you for risking your life when you could have just stayed at the comforts of your home. We wish you good health, long life, and fulfillment in your profession. Salamat po. 

Soldier Saves 20 Before Drowning in Laguna 

Another set of heroes. They have shown what it really means to be soldiers.

I hope all Filipinos are like them. Hindi naman kelangang parating me baha at me mga nalulunod na dapat iligtas. We can be heroes in our small ways.

Kanino ba Ako may Utang na Loob?

I was talking to a friend yesterday, and as I was narrating my experience during last Monday's Pinoy Power concert, politics became our topic. That friend of mine was still undecided about who she will vote for President next year. "I'm actually thinking not to vote na lang at all kasi sayang lang oras ko", she said. "Bakit kasi namatay agad si Ninoy?" she added. We are both fans of Ninoy Aquino and Jovito Salonga. I told her to let Ninoy rest in peace with Cory, and let Jovi enjoy his retirement. "Anjan na si Noynoy", I exclaimed. "Pero hindi naman sya si Ninoy", she answered.

I just couldn't let that chance to get an additional supporter slip away, so I told her with conviction:

"Gurl, siguro naman di ka aangal pag sinabi kong nung panahon ni Cory lang tayo nanahimik at nagtiwala sa gobyerno. I don't have to explain history to you. Alam mo yun. The message is clear. We need a uniting force. We need someone with a good character, someone who will inspire us to be good citizens. Pinatay si Ninoy, namatay si Cory - two events na nakitaan natin ng unity ang mga Pilipino. Ngayon ayan si Noynoy, buhay na buhay. I believe he is the President we've been waiting for after Cory." I said other things, but they are just too long to mention.

"Wow, ikaw ba yan? Di ba wa' care ka na sa pulitika?" she joked. "Epekto ba yan ng law school o ni Kris Aquino? Alam ko na... sino crush mo sa mga apo ni Cory?" She knows how to make me laugh even in the most serious situation.

"Anu ka ba? Basta feel na feel ko maging active. Dati naman kasi talagang wala na akong pakialam. E l*che 'to si GMA, ginalit ako ng bonggang bongga. Nung nag-declare si Noy, shoot! Biglang me Presidente na ako. Dapat manalo sya, at mananalo sya. Enough to convince you?" I said.

I suppose I won, because she told me, "Pang-senado speech mo, lola! Sabagay, mabait naman talaga si Noynoy e, at parang sya nga lang ung me ganung bait. Takot lang nya kina Ninoy at Cory pag nagloko sya di ba? Sige na, anu ba yung registration sa text? Sali na rin ako." She was referring to the 9noynoy registration which I posted on facebook. (YIPEE!!)

And then she asked me, "E di ba kay Villar nagtatrabaho Kuya mo? Alam ba nyang kinakalaban mo sya? Baka sabihin nun wala kang utang na loob." I just answered, "Bahala sya sa buhay nya, at pakelam naman nya sa 'kin."

When we hung up after talking about many other things, those things left me thinking...

Wala nga ba akong utang na loob?

Before Noynoy declared his intention to run for President, I was not supporting any candidate, but Villar was closest to being my choice because Kuya works for him. I live here at Kuya's house for free. I don't pay for my food, internet connection, etc. Before Kuya got the job, we were living modest lives. I had a job and I had my share in our rentals. We ate simple food and yes, we didn't have internet connection. Now, food is always great, I have unlimited access to the web, and I conveniently stopped working to focus on my studies knowing that I no longer need to pay for anything. Kuya even started a small business.

If Villar will be our President, Kuya will surely stay in his job, or maybe get some better spot. Nanay will be secured in her position. She is at odds with our pathetic Mayor who keeps on floating her from her job so he could conveniently manipulate our people's money. Nanay never submits to our Mayor's caprices and irrational ideas. Life will be easy when Villar gets elected. Looking at these points, my friend might be right. Baka wala nga akong utang na loob.

But I thought deeper to rebut the idea.

Mom gave birth to me in a government hospital. Dad worked for the government. He started as a utility man, and from his salary he got himself to college. And when he graduated, promotions fell into his hands like rain, still with the government. Mom has also been working in our local government ever since. I finished elementary education in a public school. I took up my high school at PUP. I got my college degree at PLM. I was a constant beneficiary of academic scholarships. From end to end I was a government scholar. Now, Mom is paying for my tuition fee in law school, still from her salary.

Kanino nga ba ako may utang na loob?

My question got answered. I owe the government so much. I owe the taxpayers because their taxes sustain the government and provide funds for my education and my parents' employment. It is but my duty to help protect the people's interests through my simple ways of voting for the right person for the highest position in our government, and encouraging as many other people as I can to do the same. As I hope that our government officials would set aside their personal interests for the people, so I am putting my family's personal stake at the backseat.

I fear for the immediate effects on us. Kuya might lose his job and I might have to work again. When our Mayor gets reelected, Nanay might suffer another term of injustice and harassment. But I chose to just leave it all up to God. The general welfare of our countrymen is of paramount importance.

I believe that in the long run, all these negative effects on us will fade away. Kuya might still work for his boss in some other capacity. He has many legitimate businesses, anyway. As he is also a news writer, then with the continuous protection of our freedom of speech and of the press, his job will be more secure. I pray that our incumbent Mayor be defeated in the coming elections, but if Heaven will put Nanay into more tests by having him reelected, then with the installation of a good president, I am sure we can always fight for our rights.

OK, I thank Manny Villar for providing a job for my brother. But as a responsible Filipino, I have more reasons to vote for Noynoy Aquino.

If corruption is contagious, so is good character. I have been infected by the spirit of sacrifice, selflessness and concern for our country. Thanks to Sen. Ninoy for the sacrifice, to Pres. Cory for the inspiration, and to soon-to-be Pres. Noynoy for accepting the challenge to be our hope. I am willing to do everything I can to campaign for Noynoy even in my simplest ways. I'll vote for him in the name of hope for good governance leading to peace, unity and prosperity.

Yes, we can dream again.

Handog ng Pilipino sa Mundo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooGtSV7UafI 

For the Nth time, this video made me cry again. I am always so moved by everything about our struggles and resultant victory against the dictator. Why? Kasi wala pa ako nung time na yun. I was merely 14 days old when Ninoy was killed. Lumaki na ako sa malayang Pilipinas, at I'm so thankful to those who have fought, sacrificed and died just to give me this bed of roses I am lying on. Thank you Sen. Ninoy, for being the wick that needed to be burnt to light the candle of consciousness.

Defending my President on Facebook

09.09.09. I got up early to watch the live telecast of Sen. Noynoy's press conference wherein he would announce whether to run or not to run for President in 2010. I was 80% sure it's a YES, but still my heart was beating twice as fast in excitement. Nothing beats hearing the YES straight from his mouth.

And so that was it. He will run! My heart was filled with hope (but I just couldn't express my happiness because Ate and Kuya support another candidate. Hehe...

I logged on to facebook using my mobile phone, and there I read 2 status messages criticizing Noynoy's announcement. I found myself debating with these 2 guys. Hahaha! Reposting the debate with one of them (let's hide his identity and call him F1):

F1: Noynoy, parang GMA din, sabi daw ni LORD

EDS: Teka, sino ba gusto mo maging presidente? Lahat na lang ata me reklamo tayong mga Pilipino. For me, Noynoy may be perceived to be a weakling. He has no iron hands like that of the other politicians, but I believe he has a soft heart. If we're tired of traditional politicians, then maybe all we need is a uniting force. And what's wrong with "sabi ni Lord" kung sabi naman talaga ni Lord?

F1: "Lahat na lang ata" is an understatement, the Philippines has a population of 80M++; and I did not complain about Noynoy's running for presidency (FYI/R), no need for such violent reaction. The question should not be "who", but should be: "how, what and when", this little space here is not sufficient to answer your query. We really need a uniting force. And I never say that there is something wrong when it is: "sabi daw ni LORD", I just find it ironic and blasphemous to use such heresy as a campaign line... If their faith really dictates them to go out and serve, it shouldn't be publicized. Do you remember this line from the BIBLE: "Huwag mong ipaalam sa kaliwang kamay mo ang ginagawa ng kanang kamay mo." Enough said...

EDS: What, how and when will always be important, but on May 2010, we will ultimately be faced with WHO are those people whom we think will lead us to the best answers to all other questions. For me, Noynoy's mentioning of God's will is not heresy, but a statement of fact that he really went on a retreat and listened to God. What are you supposed to do in a monastery for days? Maybe we need politicians who can combine leadership with faith in God. Filipinos need a whole lot of evangelization. Heresy, some people may say. But if it's gonna do good for everyone, what are we questioning?

F1: all those things are relative :)

EDS: Yep, we look at politics and faith at different perspectives, but we have the same dream for our country. May we be guided by God in choosing our next President and all other leaders. Prayer answers everything. I hope this statement would not sound blasphemous. Hehe...

Too bad I wasn't able to save the debate with my other friend. That was hotter, and was participated in by 3 other people who are not my friends. Apparently, this friend of mine deleted the stat, and I don't know why. Hehehe...

Organic Lifestyle

After discovering my internal defects (which I really didn't understand quite well, except that a part of it has something to do with the excessive sweating of my hands and feet) during my therapy last night, I was scheduled for a brief consultation today at 1pm. I was supposed to go there with Ate Cocot, but I wasn't ready yet (yeah, so me!) so she went ahead of me. Just as I was about to leave, she came back and told me that the therapist was not around, and will be back at 4pm. I headed to the mall to buy some groceries which, by the way, consist only of my basic beauty and hygiene supplies. I grabbed the usual stuff, among which are my shampoo, conditioner, feminine wash, mouthwash, toothpaste and lotion. I didn't buy soap because the therapist told me he would be prescribing some kind of an organic soap for me to replace safeguard.

When I got home, it was already 5pm. I rushed to the clinic and fortunately the therapist was still there. I had to buy a bottle of lemongrass hydrosol (distilled extracts of lemongrass, I think) and 2 kinds of organic soap, honey and dayap. The shock came about when he told me how to use the lemongrass hydrosol. I have to drink 2 shots a day. Check! I have to apply it to my hands and feet everyday. Check! It would have been ok, until he told me I should refrain from using synthetic (that was the term) health, beauty and hygiene products. I have to use that bottled lemongrass extract in lieu of lotion, facial cleanser (to take the place of face powder), mouthwash and deodorant. That thing in the bottle is both for internal and external use. Woah! If that is not yet enough, I was also advised not to use my favorite shampoo, and just use the honey soap instead. WAIT A MINUTE? Honey soap for my hair? That just can't be! But then, this is for my own good. He told me in some professional way that those sacrifices are needed for my treatment, simply because I didn't address my health issues earlier. So it all boils down to my nonfeasance, another mistake of the past. Waah! OWKAY FINE! I told you, this is a healing torture!

Now, what am I supposed to to with those stuff I bought at the grocery store???

Huhuhu...

Nostalgia

When I left Quezon 9 years ago to pursue my studies in Manila, I left some portions of my heart in several places, and brought with me fond memories to take their place. Lopez has been and will always be my home, of course. But there are other towns where I had unforgettable experiences, good and bad, which had become part of my early teenage years. I was able to explore these places by reason of my active involvement in the Student Catholic Action - one of my most cherished groups - and the friendships (and some crush thing) I won for myself out of it. Of all those places, Gumaca holds the distinction of being the closest to my heart. (Calauag is also special, but since Gumaca is the center of our diocese, it ranks #1 as to the number and value of my memories. Sa ibang bagay pwedeng lamang kayo. =p)

Yesterday, I decided to hear the Sunday mass at the Cathedral. As I boarded the bus, I remembered how I struggled to find time after my classes on weekdays and my extra-curricular activities and other obligations on weekends just to be with my friends and stroll around (I refuse to disclose some of those places we went to, the people we rubbed elbows with, and some of our "other" reasons for getting together. Hihi!). It's just so different this time because I knew my friends wouldn't be there to meet me. But I went on.

Along the way I saw the house where a friend whom I had a crush on for 3-4 years (Yep, until my first year in college. Haha!) lived. Some memories I recalled, and in my mind, I was laughing. Very "high school" - cheesy! But hey! I was young and naive. Some 2 or 3 years ago, I heard he's already married. Buti na lang hindi naging kami. Hahaha!

I walked fast going to the Cathedral so as not to be late for the mass, and in some spot I heard someone call me. I was shocked that somebody knew me and actually recognized me behind the changed look and dark sunglasses. It was Athan, Joenabie's younger brother. I knew then that he wouldn't find it hard to identify the girl from another town who would always show up in front of their house, looking for his Ate, without prior notice. I would have wanted to chat with him for a couple of minutes but I was rushing to catch the mass.

The Cathedral only had some minor changes (I think). I could still imagine how it looked when our choir joined the Diocesan Choral Competition in 1998 (am I right with the year?). I suddenly missed our rehearsals almost every night - Fr. John's regular visit and sponsored merienda, hard laughs in between serious singing, and the dehumanizing remarks Sir Beng had to throw into our face just to squeeze out the best rendition of the contest piece "Mapag-iisang Bayan" and choice piece "Lutkin's Benediction" our vocal chords could possibly produce. Our efforts (and inherent talent *wink*) coupled with God's grace were paid off when we bagged the championship trophy, prestige and bragging rights. Oh yes! We wowed the audience and brought the house down with our breath-taking, hair-raising and bone-shaking performance. (Swear! Yan talaga comments nila. =p). The following year, a concert was organized and participated in by various parish choirs in our diocese. It was more fun and less stressful than the contest, but we still had our minds set to justify our title. The songs "Pagsibol" and "Pagkakaibigan" were assigned to us and became part of my hitlist of religious songs. Among the songs we sang with other choirs, "Song of Creation" is my favorite. I remembered our rehearsals and "lokohan" moments with the then seminarians Bro. Toni (now a priest) and Bro. Pio (now married). I miss those days!

Come to think of it. It seems that I wasn't paying attention to the mass. Haha! I was. Swear.

After the mass, I dared to eat alone. I sat by the glass wall and watched people pass by. Years ago, I was one of those "pagala-gala" children, and I honestly couldn't remember all the reasons why I loitered around the town with my friends. Would someone know? Maybe it's kind of an "in" thing for high school students. LOL.

Fr. Toni arrived from San Narciso and met me in that fastfood. We went to the parish office and I saw some (I was told they were just 1/8 of the whole population) "batang simbahan". They asked Fr. Toni who I was and he answered "Ate nyo". I really don't know whether I should feel sorry for myself because I'm already considered to be from another generation, or whether I should be proud of and happy for these children who are active in church like me, or even more, when I was their age. I chose to feel the latter. Walang kokontra. Hehe...

Many times did I laugh during our conversation. His sense of humor is his gift, though sometimes he could get corny. =D I enjoyed it. He told me Fr. John is with him at the Bishop's residence. I wanted to go there right then but it was already late. Huhu... Next time. There are more set of memories of that place to recollect.

I learned of one sad situation. (I'm gonna tell this only to those concerned 'coz it's not for everyone's consumption.) I really did not get the whole story, and I hope I got the wrong impression. I miss those times and I pray that things will get better.

And so it's 7:30 pm and I had to go home to attend Kuya Lala's birthday party. With me are refreshed memories of my high school days spent in my second home here in Quezon.

Shame on You, Jamby Madrigal!!!

I saw Jim Paredes' tweet with a link about what Jamby Madrigal did during Cory Aquino's funeral. It's a facebook blog post revealing that the politician distributed yellow bracelets to people at the funeral WITH HER (JAMBY's) PHOTO. This made my heart burn with anger. Another human being with no conscience. The whole nation will remember this evil thing you've done come the next election! You don't deserve our vote!

Hindi lang yan. I saw another politician shaking hands with people, flashing his sweet, endearing smile. Nangangampanya at nagpapabango ng pangalan habang nagluluksa tayong lahat sa pagkamatay ni Pres. Cory. Talaga bang wala kayong konsensya? Kampanya sa funeral procession? Evil! So evil! Hindi ko kayo iboboto, at kahit konti lang ang kilala kong botante, ikakampanya ko na wag kayong suportahan. Asan ba ang konsensya nyo???

Attached are photos of the bracelet. This was taken and posted by the person who wrote the blog on Facebook. I do not intend to use it for my own benefit. I just want readers to know.

My Expression of Outrage to the Ruthless Willie Revillame

I read an article online, saying that on August 3, 2009, during Willie's show "Wowowee" (which I NEVER and will NEVER watch in my lifetime), the live coverage of President Cory's cortege being transferred from LSGH to Manila Cathedral was inserted. That guy with nothing but a rotten reputation stopped the airing and said on national TV: “’Di po maganda. Nagsasaya kami dito habang nagluluksa ang sambayanang Pilipino. ’Di ko magagampanan ang pagpapatawa habang ipinapakita ang libing ng dating presidente.” (“It’s not good for us to have fun here while the whole country grieves. I cannot make people laugh at the same time that this part of the funeral of our former president is being shown.”). Many haters reacted negatively, which is just a perfect and natural reaction. My own personal reaction is this feeling of outrage against the demon in him. I really hate Willie, and that remark made me hate him even more. I wonder where he was during the EDSA Revolution. I wonder if he has ever been grateful for the democracy that was won for us by Tita Cory. Didn't he even realize that the Freedom of Speech and Expression he is utilizing - and oftentimes abusing - now was born out of Ninoy and Cory's heroism? Hurting people's feelings is his way to popularity. He's making money out of it. Well, I hope he earns enough money to buy back his conscience.

Send My Love to Heaven

I first learned about this story from my classmate in college. One of the most touching love stories ever written. I got the chance to read it again by searching the web. I hope the author won't get mad at me for having posted it here. Here it goes....

_____________

What can I say about a girl I loved since I was ten... that I love the way she laughs at me when I commit mistakes, the way she fusses over silly things and even the way she cries over some sad silly late night show...

She was my best friend and I have known her since we were small. She knew all my secrets, which reveals my feelings for her, that I love her not only because she's pretty and smart but also the way she laughs at everything and the way she sees life and love. I could still remember the first time we met; I was five years old then. It was one windy afternoon having no one to play with except for my best friend, Troy. He and his family just moved out to a neighboring state at transfer because his father got promoted. And so I climbed up our tree house, I saw a moving truck coming down the street. I watched it approaching and noticed a family station wagon following it. It stopped in front of the house and out came a family. I was about to glance away when came out the loveliest girl I've ever seen.

She was four years old that time but then even at an early age she was a beauty. She had long curly hair, which reached almost to her waist. She had fair complexion and eyes which could make a man lose his heart into them. I continued to watch her when suddenly she looked up and saw me watching them in the tree house window. I was about to duck when she smiled and waved her hand. I waved back and then watched in amazement as I saw her running towards the tree house. So I went to the edge of the ladder and said, "Would you like to come up?" she answered, "May I?" So I help her climb up and when she reached the top she then turned to me and said, "By the way, my name's Sam, what's yours?" I answered, "My name is Christopher but then you can call me Chris." She smiled and said, "Well I like your name. Hey your tree house's neat!" then I replied, "Thanks! Troy and I made this. This used to be our hide out. We used to goof around, play ball and go biking together. He was my best friend and I kind of miss him you know." She smiled and said "I'm here now, we could do things you do with Troy and I could be your new best friend too. I never had a boy for a friend before so it could be exciting to have one. I could learn how to play ball and I have my bicycle so we could go biking together. Now how does that sound to you?" I smiled and said, "Well that sounds good enough." Then she held her hand and said, "It's a deal then!"

So that's how it started. So we became best friends and it was kind of strange at first for she was a girl and there are things which I was little bit hesitant to indulge her like catching frogs, swimming in the lake and climbing trees, but then she tried and did everything just to please me. There was even a time when she fell off the bike trying to catch up with me in a race we had and I was the one who bandaged her scraped knee. I could still remember the time when she hit the window of our neighbor when we were playing baseball and it was I who talked to Mr. Chambers and promised to pay for the damage, which meant having to loose a week's allowance. I remembered the time when I fell off the tree when I tried to rescue a little kitten because Sam was near to tears when she saw the helpless kitten trapped in a branch. I even fought with the tough guy when they teased Sam and made her cry and I ended up having a black eye and a bruised cheek. I remember Sam crying as she placed an ice bag over the damaged eye and later gave it a get-well kiss. I did everything to please her and gave everything her little heart desires.

The lake was our favorite hang out. We had our Saturday swim routine. We would pack food and later eat them under the big oak tree. There was a special branch in which the two of us could sit together and tell each other's dreams. She dreams of being a Ballerina and she knows my dream of becoming a doctor. She never laughs at my dreams and pursuits even if they were quite impossible. It made me like her even more.

As years went by, I noticed that my feelings towards her were slowly changing. Somehow, I thought it was just a simple crush case. But when I started thinking about her at night, dreaming of her and having the feeling of wanting to be with her all the time, I thought it was something different, something that made me feel strange, but then it was exhilarating feeling. It made me feel so alive. Whenever our hands touch, I could feel the tingling sensation in my spine. Once when we were at the lake having our Saturday swim routine and as I carried her towards the water edge, I had the feeling of not wanting to let go. I just wanted that moment to continue hoping it would never end. I then realized I was slowly falling in love with my best friend.

Many times I tried to deny the feeling for I was scared to imagine what would happen if ever I'd try to tell her how I feel about her. I was scared because she might think that I'm taking advantage of her and our friendship. I was afraid of losing her so I just kept my feeling hidden.

We reached the age of fifteen and I noticed that Sam grew lovelier each day. How my heart aches wherever I see boys glance her way. I want to punch their noses as I watch them talking to her giving compliments, flowers and chocolates. There were times when I watch her at a distance with mixed feelings of anger and hurt! Because it hurts so much to know that there were so many things I wanted to tell her but then I could not do so. There were so many presents which I long to give her but then I could not for she might see me only as a friend. I was also scared of letting her know how I feel about her as much as losing her.

Then one day, I just learned from a friend that she already had a boyfriend. At first, I tried to convince myself that it was just a rumor. Her boyfriend was Mark, a popular senior, who was the heartthrob of the campus. She, being the cheerleader was close to the basketball team to which Mark was the captain. When I saw them walking together at the parking lot that afternoon, I watched her with my heart slowly breaking into pieces. I saw her wave at me but I just pretended not to see her for I was scared that she might see in my eyes the pain I'm feeling inside because of seeing her with another guy. Those days that followed where the saddest days of my life. How my heart aches when I see her walk by me with him at her side. Every time we meet in hallways and I see him around her, there's a feeling inside me that makes me want to grab her away from him. How it hurts to see the girl I long possess was now owned by somebody else. That special smile I long for her to cast on me was now casted on him. As she passes by me she doesn't know that I whisper the words "God how I love you."

Then one faithful day they broke up. She came too me that evening crying on my shoulder. They had a big fight and it ended up with their break up. Mixed feelings were scaring me inside. I was happy because she was free and maybe I would have the chance of telling her my true feelings for her but then I was feeling so bad because she is crying her heart out just for him. At that time, I was not quite sure of what I wanted to do.

So we found ourselves doing what we did in old days with our Saturday swim routine, spending time in our tree house. We still enjoyed doing childish pranks for we still are both young at heart. So many chances I had for me to confess my feelings for her but still I couldn't bring myself to her for I was scared of losing her once more. I once lost her, now I could not bear of losing her again by telling her, "I love her". So I just kept my feelings even if it was bursting to be expressed from my aching heart.

It was a week from our JS Prom, we were seated at the branch of an oak tree drying ourselves after our afternoon swim when she said, "I was wondering Chris if you would like to be my partner?" It just got out of my wits for it was like a dream I never thought would happen. It took me awhile to answer her, "I thought there are so many boys who would die for you to be their partner?" So she turned away and quietly said, "Well I just thought I would like to spend that night with my best friend." Then she continued in a whisper I could barely hear, "Don't you want to die just like them to be my partner Chris?" I was too stunned to speak for it came close for me to blurt my feelings for her. We… we're silent for a while until I finally whispered, "I would be happy to be your partner Sam. "The she smiled and suddenly kissed my cheek. I could hardly contain the joy I felt that time. I saw her turned red and bowed her head. Suddenly she stood up and run towards the water saying, "Last one to reach the water treats to sundae fudge!”I ran slowed up so that I would lose which meant having to have her with me for another three hours or more.

Our Prom night came. I bought a new tuxedo and poured almost the entire bottle of perfume. I went to fetch Sam. Sam's mother greeted me and I went to sit in the living room waiting for her to come down. I was talking to her father when I heard her say, "How do I look?" I look up and saw her lovelier than ever in a strapless white dress with her hair flowing around her face. I stood up and opened my mouth but found out I could not find my voice. Then I got her hand shakily fastened the corsage around her wrist and whispered, "To the loveliest girl in the whole world." She then asked, "Is that true?" I nodded and she smiled and I smiled back then I turned to open the door for her. When we arrived at the gymnasium we hardly recognized our classmates. Gone were the jeans and T-shirts. They were replaced with tuxedos and gowns. Then I held out her hand bowed and said, "Would you give me the honor of your first dance?" She laughed and curtseyed. Then I led her to the dance floor. It was like a dream coming true, a moment of enchantment. I was there dancing with the only girl I ever loved. She was smiling up to me, as we were slowly moving in a smooth gliding motion. I found myself lost as I stared down to her sparkling eyes. The curls of her long hair were like waves enhancing her beautiful face. There were so many things I wanted to tell her that moment. I wanted to tell that she was the most beautiful girl that night. I wanted to tell her that she would always be the beacon of light in my darkness, but what I wanted to tell her the most was that I love her. I drew up all my courage and bent to whisper it in her ear but suddenly the music stopped and the magic was gone. I came close to telling her, but still haven't done it.

We walked towards the table and found ourselves surrounded by friends. I asked her if she wanted a drink, she nodded and so I went to get one. It took me a long time to get one and when I returned to our table, she was gone. I asked her friend, Katie, where she was but she told me that she doesn't know. So I went to search for her. As I was searching for her, I reached the garden. There I saw two silhouette figures outlined by the moon's silvery light. They were so close to each other that I could never describe the feeling I had when I recognized the white dress that Sam was wearing that night. I just turned and left the gymnasium.

Since that night, I avoided her. Many times she tried talking to me but I never gave her the chance to do so. I was afraid to hear her say that she loves Mark and not me. I would rather have left in ignorance of her true feelings for me than to hear from those dreaded words and feel my hope crush and my heart break. I didn't return her calls. I would not see her if she comes into our house. In the hallways, as she approaches I would go to another direction. It also hurts to do those things but then I thought that was the best way to forget her. Those months were tormenting but still I kept my pride.

The day of our graduation came. I was planning to take up medicine at a neighboring state and was to move out the next day. As the program ended, she approached me and handed me a rose. As she stared at me, there was something in her eyes I couldn't describe. There was sadness in them and when she smiled it wasn't the same smile she had. I wanted to hug her at that moment, tell her that I love her but then she turned and walked away from me.

So I moved out the next day as I planned. Luckily, I was accepted at the university. I concentrated with my studies but still I think of her at night. I was always wondering if she thinks of me too. I tried hard not to think of her but still I could not stop myself from loving her. Each achievement I have was done for her. I thought that if I will be successful one day, I would be able to tell her that I love her and by that time, I'm worthy of having her.

It was a year after our graduation when I decided to return home and see her again. I thought a year is too much for me not to see her and during the past year I felt like a person lost in the desert and only the sight of her could quench the thirst I have inside. As I got off the plane, I went home directly, desperate to get to her house desperate to see her, to hug her. Then I would tell her that I missed her and that I have loved her for a long time. This time I am determined to let her know my true feelings for her and I could not contain anymore the love I have for her. I reached their house; I saw her elder sister and I approached her. I smiled at her but I noticed she didn't smile back. I was confused for she used to be a cheerful lady just like my dear Sam. I then asked, "Hi Jen! I guess you're surprised why I'm here. Well I just want to visit you and I was also hoping to see Sam. I kind of miss her you know. Mmm… by the way have you seen her?" All I saw was sadness in her eyes as she replied quietly "Come follow me."

I was confused with the way she's acting but still I followed her. As we were walking, I was trying to indulge her in a conversation but she just answered my question briefly. Then I realized that she was leading me to the direction of the lake. It was still the same as I left it, with the same oak tree, Sam and I used to climb up. I smiled upon remembering the kiss Sam gave me when I agreed to be her partner. It's been one of the happiest days in my life and I realized that I missed Sam more than I thought. Then Jen stopped walking and pointed to the tree. She then whispered, "There's Sam."

I looked at where she was pointing and saw a newly dug tomb with the name of the girl I ever loved. I could not believe at what I saw and desperately tried convincing myself that this is all just a nightmare and I would soon wake up. I stared at Jenny in disbelief with her eyes searching for explanations and she slowly started saying, "It has been a week since she died. She died of Leukemia, but even though she was sick, she never stopped thinking about you. It was even your name she uttered before she died. She asked us to bury her here for she always regards this place as a place of LOVE. She said that this is where she had spent the happiest days and that was when she was with you. By the way, she also asked me to give you this." She handed me a parcel and with that she left.

I slowly opened the parcel and saw that it contained the dried orchid from the corsage I gave her for our prom. Then at the bottom I saw a letter. It was dated last month. I opened it with shaking hands and started reading........

******************************

I know… by this time you read this letter I'm gone. I just want to tell you that I feel very lucky and thankful to God that I had a friend like you. I would also like you to know that I had left something inside, something I kept from you all these years. I love you Chris, not in a friendly way but as one who would feel like spending the rest of my life with. I have always loved you even from the start. I guess it just bloomed each day that's why the happiest days of my life was… when you were by my side. You just don't know how I dreamed of you at night and wake up in the morning and dream no more for you were with me. When you were away, I can't stop crying because I was afraid to think that you are with another girl. I just can't bear to see you with another girl. I just want you all to myself. I may sound selfish but that's how I feel.

Each time, you held me close to you, was like a dream coming true, for to be close to you and feel your heart beating next to mine was like heaven. So many things I did so that you will learn to love me but I NEVER saw a hint. I did everything to please you because I love you so much that I even tried to fool myself that you're in love with me too. So many nights I've cried when I think of myself unloved by you. Well you might think that what I'm saying are lies but, I tell you, my heart speaks the truth for I cannot bear telling a lie to the one I love. I know you might be thinking of Mark; but I just did that to make you jealous, to make you see me as a young woman, capable of loving and not as the little girl you used to play with. Sometimes I imagined that you were jealous and fooled myself that it was a sign that you feel something for me too. When Mark and I broke up and I came crying, I just did that to know… how you would react and with that I'll know that you love me too. But I failed for you didn't give me any clue. When our prom night came, you just don't know how happy I was when you handed me the corsage and saying that I was the loveliest girl in the whole world. While we were dancing, I wanted so desperately to hear you say that you love me too but you NEVER did. When Mark came and pleaded me to give him a second chance, I was scared that you might see us talking. I didn't want you to get the wrong impression so I told him we would talk in the garden. There I explained to him that it's you whom I really love.

What happened next was that I found you missing and later learned that you were searching for me, I just concluded that you saw us together. The next day, I tried to explain but then you never gave me a chance to do so. You continuously avoided me and never knew how much pain I've experienced that time. I felt the world crushing on me. In our Graduation day, when I approached you, I wanted to tell you… how much I loved you but I decided that I just couldn't do it. I could not bear to hear that all you feel for me is just brotherly hand of love. For I want you to love me as a woman and not as a girl or playmate. So I just turned away and left.

Now that saying I LOVE YOU might be too late, but still I want you to know that I will always love you and my heart has always been and will be yours alone.

P.S.: Think of me sometimes... and always remember that loving you was the best thing that ever happened in my life.

************************************

I felt my tears falling as I folded the letter. I wanted to shout out to let her know that I love her, if not as much, but more than she did for me. I love her more than anything in this world. I knelt touching the soil of her grave and rain started to fall. I continued crying softly and whispered, "Oh God, send my love to heaven."

The Drama Queen Who Shed Real Tears

I am a self-confessed drama queen. I cry over silly movies and TV shows, documentaries, and even TV commercials. Sometimes, I cry over difficult lessons and unbearable workload. I cry when I get stranded alone on a stormy night. I cry over sentimental songs, poems and storybooks. I shed tears over almost everything that touches my emotions even to the slightest degree. Crying has become my comfort blanket, the magic carpet that I use to escape from pain. Tears work as my potion against even the smallest dark spot inside. My life has been melodramatic. I am a drama queen.

I thought it was a good thing. I was told that crying lengthens your life because you release the tension that would otherwise give you heart attack. I read a quote saying that tears clear our vision. And so I thought there's nothing wrong with it.

But there is.

I messed up with and brought trouble to someone's life. I got hurt... maybe not as deep and serious as those emotional wounds that would make anybody else cry, but it was real pain for me. I felt that yesterday's bliss had gone so far away. And so I cried though I didn't intend to. Then I opened my eyes and realized that people think this is another broadway drama they are watching... that after a few moments I would put my tears into a sudden stop and laugh as if nothing happened. It was a joke. I am a joke. When a joker tells something serious, people hardly believe. When the boy cried "wolf!" for the third time, nobody came over to rescue him. The same fate happened to me. I feel so ashamed... so stupid.

I cry for shallow reasons, but I never fake it. All my tears are real. But then... would people believe me? I bet they won't, so I have to stop and join them in thinking that this is nothing but a soap opera. So much for being a drama queen.

The Best Set of Advices I Ever Received

(lifted from my FB notes, dated May 2, 2009)

Since it's our Moms' month, let me share with you the letter made by my Mom for me during our High School recollection 9 years ago. I got this idea from Rochelle. If only I had followed everything said in this letter... things wouldn't have gone this complicated. Sa lovelife lang naman ako pasaway. Hehe...

Here it is...

March 24, 2000

Eden,

First of all, let me greet you for all your achievements. It was year 1983 when you saw the first light in this world. Your father and I were both happy. We raised you well and did our best to give you the best education we can afford. And we were indeed very lucky because since you started your elementary, and now finishing your secondary education, we saw you being developed as a potential leader. you have also proven your intelligence through numerous honors and awards that you brought home.

I konw that you noticed that when you were in your grade school, I seldom helped you in your studies, assignments and projects. And during your high school days, I totally left you alone doing all those things for yourself. Now you have to know why I've done this. That's my way of training you to be independent, strong, and can decide for yourself. These traits will serve as your shield in your college life which you decided to pursue in another place, where you will be alone and far from your parents and wherein there will be stiffer competition.

Being born under the zodiac sign Leo and coincidentally during the year when our country was openly fighting against the dictatorship that paved the way to the famous EDSA revolution, I know you have developed such a strong personality. Added to these are the challenges, competitions and intrigues that surrounded you which rooted since your elementary days. You know I pity you for all those experiences. Just charge it to experience. Now I know, you are ready and much prepared for tougher challenges of life ahead. Always look back and remember all your elementary and high school mentors and tormentors. The first, who are very supportive and fair enough to you, and the others, who have caused you embarrassments and sufferings, because they both made your life with them more colorful.

Now you have finished your high school and soon will receive your diploma. I know you have had memorable moments of high school life. Everybody says that high school is the happiest part of being a student, and you know that I didn't deprive you with that opportunity. I let you join your friends everywhere you like, meeting others somewhere. Hopefully, you will now take your studies seriously because your college life will decide who you will be someday.

With respect to your character and attitude, this is all I can say. Maintain your friendliness, but again I advise you to be extra careful with friends around you. You have already several experiences about friends who only approach you when they are in need or seeking favor and help from you, but turn their back on you when you are in need even for just moral support. Select true friends. Also, avoid being hard-headed and watch your carelessness especially on your personal things.

As to your lovelife, take this word seriously from me. You have already tried having a boyfriend. You have now experienced the happiness and heartaches of such relationship. Treat that as a lesson. You are still young, beautiful and a very intelligent girl. Concentrate on your studies first. Mind must prevail over the heart if you really want to fulfill your ambition. Don't ever cry for a man. Let them cry on you. Be wise in handling such relationships.

As to our family relationship, I hope you will maintain the open communication we have established since you were a child, of telling me everything. No secret. Remember, I'm your mother and your best friend. Rest assured that I'll always be at your side to support you, guide you, and encourage you. I love you and I'm very proud of you.

Nanay

Her advices may sound rude, but that was her way of telling me to be tough because life is not easy. Only the strong survives. She's right. Whenever I stumble and fall, I find my way back to her letter and realize that there's an advice I did not follow. My Mom is the epitome of strength and passion. Her stand against challenges and how she fights for her principles are not unknown in our town. That's yet another story to share, which I already did to some of my friends.

I LOVE YOU, NANAY!!!

Mga Lola Sa Jeep

(lifted from my FB notes, dated April 17, 2009)

Kanina sa tapat ng UST, sumakay ako ng jeep pauwe sa amin. Me 2 pasahero, isa sa unahan, lalaki, mga 20 years old siguro. Hindi sya cute. Char! Tungkol sa kanya ung kwento pero hindi sya ang bida. Ung isa pang pasahero na tatawagin nateng si Lola#1.. sya ang bonggang bonggang tauhan. Uunahan ko na kayo ha. Walang sense ang kwentong 'to, natawa lang talaga ako.

Di ko naman intensyong panoorin si Lola#1. Me sarili akong mundo sa jeep, at music lang ng cellphone ko ang naririnig ko. Nagsimula lang 'to sa me Ramon Magsaysay, nung me sumakay na manong na me dalang box. Nasa me pinto ako, tapos si Lola#1 malapit sa driver. Nung magbabayad na si Manong, umasa syang aabutin ni Lola#1 ung bayad nya. Pero ang malditang Lola, tinitigan lang ng masama ung pera. 1 minuto ata bago nakaramdam si Manong na ayaw ni Lola#1 sa gusto nya mangyari. So may-I-move-forward si Manong at sya na ung nag-abot ng bayad. Panalo si Lola#1!

Parang ako lang... Pag wala ako sa mood, kunwari wala akong naririnig pag me nagpapaabot ng bayad. Hehe...

Tapos na ang kwento ni Lola#1 with Manong. Bumaba na si Manong paglampas ng Vicente Cruz.

Syang sakay naman ni Lola#2. Ayan! Kaya me Lola#1 kc me Lola#2. Wala rin syang kamalay-malay na tatarayan sya ni Lola#1. Sya kc e!

Ganito...

Si not-cute-boy na nasa unahan, nagtanong kay manong driver. Di ko naman narinig ung tanong. Ang narinig ko ung biglang nagsalita si Lola#2. Lakas ng boses e.

"Lampas na yun. Ang layo mo na. Bumaba ka at tumawid ka sa kabila. Sa Forbes, andun ung mga jeep papuntang Tayuman. Mapapalayo ka pa kung sa rotonda ka bababa kaya ngayon ka na bumaba."

Me point. Sumunod si lalaki. "Tumawid ka!" follow-up bilin ni Lola#2 nung nakababa na si Kuya.

Medyo hyper pala si Lola#2. Me mga bilin pa sa masang Pilipino. "Pag hindi mo alam ang daan, magtanong ka sa driver. Hindi naman lahat maaalala ng driver kung saan bababa. Ikaw yung may alam na hindi mo alam ung daan, ikaw ang magtanong. Ang hindi nagtatanong ay tanga." Take note: mag-isang sumakay si Lola#2. Wala syang kasama. Wala syang kausap.

Nagising ang katarayan ni Lola#1. Hinarap si Lola#2.

"Ikaw, tanga ka ba? Nagtatanong ka naman ano? E di hindi ka pala tanga", sabi ni Lola#1. Nagulat ako sa bonggang bonggang statement nya, at sa isip ko humahalakhak na ako. Off muna ang music. Exciting 'to.

"Oo, nagtatanong ako. Noong bago ako dito sa Maynila nagtatanong ako", sagot ni Lola#2. Feeling ko di pa nya gets na binara sya ni Lola#1.

"Tagasaan ka ba? Bago ka rin pala sa Maynila e. Mabuti naman at hindi ka pala tanga", hirit ni Lola#1. Feeling ko medyo nakaramdam na si Lola#2 kaya ang sagot nya ay...

"Leyte. Bisaya. Waray. Matapang."

"Nakakatakot ka pala", sagot ni Lola#1.

"Teacher ako", sabi ni Lola#2, at hindi ko alam kung anung koneksyon nun sa pagiging nakakatakot. Meron ba?

"Me increase daw kayong P9,000 ah", kantyaw ni Lola#1.

"Meron. Ipinaglaban namin yun. Me party list na ang mga guro, para mapagtanggol ang karapatan namin. Pati government employees meron na rin sa susunod na eleksyon." Ngayon nangampanya na si Lola#2. Ang dami nyang sinabi na di ko na lahat matandaan. Basta tungkol sa party-list. Kahit ako nairita, pero mas nangibabaw ung feeling na natatawa... at naghihintay ng susunod na banat ni Lola#1.

Si Lolo Driver natatawa din, pero hindi sumasabat sa usapan. Young-at-heart ito, ayaw makiuso.

Di na rin siguro kinaya ni Lola#1. Isang lingon sabay sabi ng "Blowout! Balato" at tumalikod. Di na nya ulit pinansin si Lola#2 hanggang makababa. Akala ko pa naman magiging friends sila at magpapalitan ng cel number.

Andun pa rin si Lola#2 nung me sumakay pang 2 lola. Tapos na ang barahan nun. Naisip ko lang. Makikisali rin kaya sila kung naabutan nila ung comedy act?

O di ba walang sense? Natawa lang talaga ako. Sa tingin nyo, sino ang panalo at kanino ako mas naaliw? Hehehe...

Sleepless Nights and Mental Torture

Mas masaya kung Taglish.

First and only quiz. Steady lang. Shoot!

Midterm. Masaya naman ata lahat paglabas ng room. Result. Kagulat-gulat. Since then, lahat kame hindi na mapakali. Sari-saring manifestations, pero iisa ang realization... Maling akala.

After a week or so, magkakaiba na ang aura. Yung iba, tanggap na daw nila na uulet sila. Me iba naman na parang walang nangyari, tuloy ang buhay. Meron namang iba na pagpatak ng 1pm, nakasubsob na sa gray na codal at hindi mo alam kung humihinga pa. Saan ka dun, classmate?

Ako? Dun ata ako sa pangalawa... on the outside. Sa loob ko, hindi ako mapakali. For like three weeks, umiiyak ako. Tinalo nito lahat ng sakit na naramdaman ko sa lahat ng break-ups na dinanas ko. Ang break-up kasi pwede mo isumbat sa ex mong walang kwenta. Pwede mo ring sabihin sa sarili mo na makakahanap ka rin ng iba. Pero ito? Ang hirap tanggapin na posible pala. Hindi pala laging masaya. It's not always a sunny day, sabi ko nga. Hindi pala laging ako.

Nag-devise ako ng isang napakaganda at bonggang bonggang plan para sa finals. Pero hindi ko kayang kontrolin ang mundo. Ang trabaho ay trabaho. Hindi titigil ang paggulong ng pera at pag-usad ng ekonomiya dahil malapit na ang finals ko. Madalas pa nga, napapasobra naman ata ang ekonomiyang yan. Anung petsa na, nasa office pa tayo? Mahirap talaga maging working student, lalo na kung hindi ka lang basta nangangarap "makalusot". Kulang pala ung line sa Spiderman na "with great power comes great responsibility". Me kasunod pala ito. "With great responsibility comes great risks." Nariyang magkasakit, pumasok ng walang alam at matuto ng kung anu-anung dasal wag lang matawag sa recit, at me bonggang collapse moment pa sa MRT. 

Sa bagay na yan, sari-sari din ang opinyon. Merong nagsasabing "Ganyan talaga. Tiis." Meron din namang nagsasabing "Sino naman ang me sabi sa 'yong magtrabaho ka?" Mas nakakainis pakinggan yung una, pero mas nilalabanan ko yung pangalawa. Sayang kasi.

Balik tayo sa plano ko. Hindi natupad ang timetable ko. Kung jowa ko ang mga libro at reviewers ko, malamang inisplitan na nila ako dahil wala akong time sa kanila. But still, God is good. Kahit paano nagkaroon ako ng 3 days para mag-review.

Aral. Aral. Aral. Facebook. YM. Aral. Aral. Facebook. YM. Aral. Aral. Aral.

Aba syempre kelangan ko rin naman ng pahinga para sa utak kong pagod na pagod na. Otherwise, baka sumabog ito at hindi ko na naman alam kung saan ko pupulutin lahat ng kalat pag nangyari yun.

Yung mga facebook friends and supporters ko, nagsawa na lang kaka-goodluck sa akin.

Friday, 1pm. Ayan na, ang makasaysayang text message ni Doris... "In 24 hours". Natoxic ako for like an hour or so. Pero ang pasaway kong kukote biglang me nakitang ibang angle. Hmm... 24 hours PA pala. Hala! Tuluyan na akong nilamon ng katamaran.

Facebook. Facebook. YM. Tulog. Aral. Facebook. Facebook. Aral.

10pm. Simula na ng countdown. Isinantabi ko ang laptop ko. Pero naka-online pa rin ako sa mobile. Hehe...

12pm. Low batt na sa wakas ang phone ko, at hindi talaga ako nag-charge para walang temptation.

2am. Hindi na kaya ng powers ko. Hello bed!

6am. Pagbangon ko pa lang, kinanta na ng utak at puso ko ang...

"This is the moment, my final test. Destiny beckoned, I never reckoned second best..."

"I believe in the impossible, if I reach deep within my heart. Overcome any obstacle, won't let this dream just fall apart. You see I strive to be the very best, share my life for all to see. Coz anything is possible... When you believe..."

AMEN!

After breakfast, uminom pa ako ng SlimFit na nabili ko last week sa 7-11. Symbolic ang pag-inom ko nyan. It's like telling myself to smile dahil malapit na ang summer. I have to be lean and sexy. Ayun un e! Anu't ano man ang mangyari, dapat pretty-prettyhan pa rin. Pero sana naging potion na lang un, tipong pag ininom ko yun e mamememorize ko lahat from Rules 1-72. Kung yan lang ba ang usapan, e kahit malasing ako walang problema! Kampay!

While dressing up, nagawa ko pang kumanta at sumayaw. Naisip ko tuloy, kung nag-artista kaya ako? Mas me time kaya ako mag-aral? Haha! Parang me kamatis na tumilapon sa sahig. Tinigilan ko na. Tapos ang last song e "Fallin". Nag-freak out tuloy ako. Anu ibig sabihin nito? Babagsak ako? Hindi pwede. So nag-extend pa ako for another song, pampawala ng signos. "You should know by now". Aba talagang nananadya no? Oo na, nagbasa naman ako.

On my way to school, na-traffic ako. Pero bawal uminit ang ulo. Bawal masira ang araw. Hinga ng malalim. Ok lang yan.

Pagdating sa school, wala naman akong makausap so aral-aralan na lang. Nakakatoxic! Hanggang sa dumating na si Doris. Nakahanap ako ng karamay. DALDAL! HALA! DALDAL PA!

Ayan na! 3pm dumating si Sir. 38 students pala kame, nabasa ko sa bundle ng test booklets. 38 plus si Sir... 39. Rule 39 - EXECUTION! Ganyang ganyan ang pakiramdam namen.

Hindi ko na sasabihin kung anung klaseng exam ito dahil baka magmukhang samplex pa 'tong blog ko at masyado akong sumikat. Basta nakakagulat! Hindi ko masabing mahirap dahil hindi kinailangan ng memorization. Pero na-test talaga ang over-all knowledge namin. Ang problema e kung me knowledge nga ba na iti-test. Basta ang alam ko, sinulat ko lahat ng maisip ko. Bahala na.

Paglabas ko ng room, baon ko ang alaala nina Rizalina, Julieta, Gloria at JNS Corporation. Yung mga classmates kong tapos na mag-test, mga nakangiti naman. Hindi ko alam kung anu iniisip nila, at lalong di ko alam kung ano ang sagot nila. Pero me common sa mga pagmumukha nameng lahat. Sense of relief. Tapos na. Sana pumasa ako. Sana pumasa kaming lahat, para masabi na talaga namen with finality... TAPOS NA.

God bless us all!

Epal footnote:

Despite the sleepless nights and mental torture, I learned to love this subject so much. Favorite subject ko na ito. Pero love ko pa rin ang Persons... at alam ko na ang reaction nina Doris at Jhack dito. "Eds, ung pagkagusto mo naman sa Persons e me halong ibang pagmamahal." Haha! Well... ayun nga. I love Civ Pro! Pero wag na tayo magkita ulet ha. "When you love someone, set her free." Hehehe...

Don't worry, Jhack. This subject is worth all the risks. You'll get to love it as much as we do.