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Because I am blessed, I am blessing the world in Jesus' name...

Friday, December 19, 2008

Sourgrapes


Last week, I had time to visit some of my friends' profiles in a virtual rendezvous of almost everyone in my generation (and even those of earlier ones and - come to think of it - even babies) - commonly and popularly known as FRIENDSTER. Here are the common things that surfaced right before my very eyes:

1. Many have gone to places - from Bora, to Hongkong, to the US, and to Europe.
2. Cafes and restaurants are favorites for backdrops.
3. Reunion pictures are common things to behold.
4. Many have either their wedding shot or a pose with a baby (which, i suppose, is theirs) for their primary photo.
5. Every is (or seems to be) happy and content with how things are going on with their lives.

That moment brought me back to the time when everything was simple... when a hundred bucks is a treasure... when we didn't care about anything else but our recitations, examinations... and the "bottle session" after that... when I was still "in".

Now... the only albums that have my face on it are those of my officemates and classmates in law school... during official office or school activities.

I must admit that I miss those years when I was still part of the big crowd... when there was never a party without me... when I was with people I call friends... doing things that other people might have perceived as nonsense. Given the chance, I would love to do it all again with my friends.

But no such chance is being given to me. I spend my days trying to do everything at work within 8 hours... but not so I could rest or go somewhere fun like everyone else. I do that because my law books are waiting for me at home. I curse myself whenever I sleep for more than 4 hours a day, because I shouldn't. I practically bid farewell to my old self. I turned by back on my easy life and lost the things that made me happy over the years.

But the weird thing is: I AM HAPPY.

While everybody travels, I am having my own journey to the profession I have been dreaming of since I was 10. While everybody is raving about the latest novel in town, I read books and countless cases. People might see me complaining, but deep down inside, I love doing it.

While everyone else is having coffee or dinner with friends, I am sipping my own cup of coffee in the company of distinguished authors and justices. Someday, I will be one of them.

For now, I can't attend those reunions... but someday I'll get to be invited as the guest of honor in important events, and that will give my secretary a hard time trying to fit all those invitations in my schedule. Of course I'll have time for reunions by then.

I may still be single, but I have the best boyfriend in the world, who stays by my side even though it requires extra patience and understading on his part, who lightens up my days no matter how frustrating things might be, who lets me rest in his loving arms whenever I get knocked out by all those things that exhaust my energy, who compensates for the impossibility of me being with my friends... and who is just waiting for the right time to marry me.

No question about it. I am happy.

The sweet truth is... I never really gave up all those things. I just put them on hold. I never really lost my friends. They are still there, and I know they understand. At the end of the day, I'll get to have the best of both worlds.

These grapes are not sour, after all.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

You Can't Stop the Beat


Check out the videos of my performance for MSSC Musical 2008. I'll do the writeup later... maybe on summer vacation. hehehe...

Part 1:
Part 2:
Part 3:
Part 4:
Part 5:

... and here are some photos!


THE LEADS


It was a great honor to be chosen for this role, and lead a team of talented and fabulous hairspray people!










Maan was, at the same time, our over-all coordinator. For the love of the team, she dared to sing and dance, though at first her task was just to organize the team and to arrange everything.




 Dein represented - and made proud - our partner team, HR. He is so talented. He bagged the "best actor" award. congratulations, Dein!



Yumi danced like a pro. She's a gem in the team!



My leading man is such a nice catch for NAAP. This is his very first project (he was a new hire then) and he did great! We became very close friends after the show.

THE NICEST KIDS IN TOWN






These dancers added vibe and life to our musical. It wouldn't be quite "hairspray" without the nicest kids in town!

JUST BEFORE WE DID BIG!!!



With JR and Rose, my "transformers"

 

vocalization


THE ACTUAL PERFORMANCE 

Good morning Baltimore! 

 




Nicest kids in town; ladies' choice
 





Welcome to the 60s
 





You can't stop the beat!
 



Thursday, November 27, 2008

Stepping into reality...


It's not the usual short love story that I used to write... In fact, I am... I have to... say goodbye to it. I was able to write those stories because I had time for literary works, movies, TV and, most of all, friends who fed me with their own stories.

I must admit that things have radically changed. No more of those stuff I used to be into. Law school changed me. Not only did it put me into reading my thick books and carrying them all the time... but it fed me with real stories. With that, I mean the countless cases that I read... Ok, include the juicy stories about people in the campus (professors, in particular. hehe...) in the count.

I came to write this stuff because I have been trying to write stories the way I used to do. But when I visited this blog today, I found many drafts... like lonely hearts waiting to live happily ever after. Instead of leaving them all hanging, I decided to put an end to their waiting. I deleted all those unfinished work.

Now, it's all reality... But at least it will now be all about me... plain and simple. Not that I despise myself for studying law... I just miss what I used to do. But the thrill and excitement of my life as a law student, and the anticipation of passing the bar and savoring the prestige of the legal profession, just outweigh all the longing.

Join me as I venture into blogging in a different way...

When I become a lawyer... I'll see if my clients' stories would be able to inspire me to write again... without disclosing their identity, of course. I know what I'd be liable for.

Monday, February 4, 2008

Letting go...


Today, the battle ends…
But no one emerges with victory.
All are wounded… all are in pain.
Everybody gets hurt in order to be right.


I shall stop fighting against myself
For you… the very reason for the fight…
The very weapon in my hands…
Is not mine to use…
Is never mine to keep.


You…
A spirit as tranquil as the lush green plains…
Like a precious diamond you sparkle…
So pure… so perfect…
How could you be so real?


Who am I to have you?
Who am I to hold you?


I…
The sun at mid day that dries up the lush green plains…
The dust that tarnishes the diamond…
So broken and shattered…
So real…


You’ve given me strength…
And letting go weakens me inside
Tearing me into pieces…


You wanted to keep me…
But as your grip tightens… your hands begin to bleed…
Yet you still hold me with your loving arms…
It hurts me even more…


So today I am letting go…
Not because I don’t love you…
But because I care…
I care for you so much…
So much more than I ever care for myself.


Not that you are not enough for me…
But because I will never be enough for you…
The love that you can give…
Is never mine to receive…
You need more… and I can never give you more…
I have nothing more to give…
Because I’m nothing.


Fly away to where you belong…
For this lonely heart is not your home…
Hell is not meant for angels to dwell…


I shall watch you from afar
As I pick up the shattered pieces of myself.
That’s how the universe must be
Balanced… in harmony.


You are a beautiful melody…
But not if you’re with me.


Be the most beautiful song that I never could sing…
The most beautiful star I could never wish on…
The most beautiful dream I could never realize.