The Drama Queen Who Shed Real Tears

I am a self-confessed drama queen. I cry over silly movies and TV shows, documentaries, and even TV commercials. Sometimes, I cry over difficult lessons and unbearable workload. I cry when I get stranded alone on a stormy night. I cry over sentimental songs, poems and storybooks. I shed tears over almost everything that touches my emotions even to the slightest degree. Crying has become my comfort blanket, the magic carpet that I use to escape from pain. Tears work as my potion against even the smallest dark spot inside. My life has been melodramatic. I am a drama queen.

I thought it was a good thing. I was told that crying lengthens your life because you release the tension that would otherwise give you heart attack. I read a quote saying that tears clear our vision. And so I thought there's nothing wrong with it.

But there is.

I messed up with and brought trouble to someone's life. I got hurt... maybe not as deep and serious as those emotional wounds that would make anybody else cry, but it was real pain for me. I felt that yesterday's bliss had gone so far away. And so I cried though I didn't intend to. Then I opened my eyes and realized that people think this is another broadway drama they are watching... that after a few moments I would put my tears into a sudden stop and laugh as if nothing happened. It was a joke. I am a joke. When a joker tells something serious, people hardly believe. When the boy cried "wolf!" for the third time, nobody came over to rescue him. The same fate happened to me. I feel so ashamed... so stupid.

I cry for shallow reasons, but I never fake it. All my tears are real. But then... would people believe me? I bet they won't, so I have to stop and join them in thinking that this is nothing but a soap opera. So much for being a drama queen.

The Best Set of Advices I Ever Received

(lifted from my FB notes, dated May 2, 2009)

Since it's our Moms' month, let me share with you the letter made by my Mom for me during our High School recollection 9 years ago. I got this idea from Rochelle. If only I had followed everything said in this letter... things wouldn't have gone this complicated. Sa lovelife lang naman ako pasaway. Hehe...

Here it is...

March 24, 2000

Eden,

First of all, let me greet you for all your achievements. It was year 1983 when you saw the first light in this world. Your father and I were both happy. We raised you well and did our best to give you the best education we can afford. And we were indeed very lucky because since you started your elementary, and now finishing your secondary education, we saw you being developed as a potential leader. you have also proven your intelligence through numerous honors and awards that you brought home.

I konw that you noticed that when you were in your grade school, I seldom helped you in your studies, assignments and projects. And during your high school days, I totally left you alone doing all those things for yourself. Now you have to know why I've done this. That's my way of training you to be independent, strong, and can decide for yourself. These traits will serve as your shield in your college life which you decided to pursue in another place, where you will be alone and far from your parents and wherein there will be stiffer competition.

Being born under the zodiac sign Leo and coincidentally during the year when our country was openly fighting against the dictatorship that paved the way to the famous EDSA revolution, I know you have developed such a strong personality. Added to these are the challenges, competitions and intrigues that surrounded you which rooted since your elementary days. You know I pity you for all those experiences. Just charge it to experience. Now I know, you are ready and much prepared for tougher challenges of life ahead. Always look back and remember all your elementary and high school mentors and tormentors. The first, who are very supportive and fair enough to you, and the others, who have caused you embarrassments and sufferings, because they both made your life with them more colorful.

Now you have finished your high school and soon will receive your diploma. I know you have had memorable moments of high school life. Everybody says that high school is the happiest part of being a student, and you know that I didn't deprive you with that opportunity. I let you join your friends everywhere you like, meeting others somewhere. Hopefully, you will now take your studies seriously because your college life will decide who you will be someday.

With respect to your character and attitude, this is all I can say. Maintain your friendliness, but again I advise you to be extra careful with friends around you. You have already several experiences about friends who only approach you when they are in need or seeking favor and help from you, but turn their back on you when you are in need even for just moral support. Select true friends. Also, avoid being hard-headed and watch your carelessness especially on your personal things.

As to your lovelife, take this word seriously from me. You have already tried having a boyfriend. You have now experienced the happiness and heartaches of such relationship. Treat that as a lesson. You are still young, beautiful and a very intelligent girl. Concentrate on your studies first. Mind must prevail over the heart if you really want to fulfill your ambition. Don't ever cry for a man. Let them cry on you. Be wise in handling such relationships.

As to our family relationship, I hope you will maintain the open communication we have established since you were a child, of telling me everything. No secret. Remember, I'm your mother and your best friend. Rest assured that I'll always be at your side to support you, guide you, and encourage you. I love you and I'm very proud of you.

Nanay

Her advices may sound rude, but that was her way of telling me to be tough because life is not easy. Only the strong survives. She's right. Whenever I stumble and fall, I find my way back to her letter and realize that there's an advice I did not follow. My Mom is the epitome of strength and passion. Her stand against challenges and how she fights for her principles are not unknown in our town. That's yet another story to share, which I already did to some of my friends.

I LOVE YOU, NANAY!!!

Mga Lola Sa Jeep

(lifted from my FB notes, dated April 17, 2009)

Kanina sa tapat ng UST, sumakay ako ng jeep pauwe sa amin. Me 2 pasahero, isa sa unahan, lalaki, mga 20 years old siguro. Hindi sya cute. Char! Tungkol sa kanya ung kwento pero hindi sya ang bida. Ung isa pang pasahero na tatawagin nateng si Lola#1.. sya ang bonggang bonggang tauhan. Uunahan ko na kayo ha. Walang sense ang kwentong 'to, natawa lang talaga ako.

Di ko naman intensyong panoorin si Lola#1. Me sarili akong mundo sa jeep, at music lang ng cellphone ko ang naririnig ko. Nagsimula lang 'to sa me Ramon Magsaysay, nung me sumakay na manong na me dalang box. Nasa me pinto ako, tapos si Lola#1 malapit sa driver. Nung magbabayad na si Manong, umasa syang aabutin ni Lola#1 ung bayad nya. Pero ang malditang Lola, tinitigan lang ng masama ung pera. 1 minuto ata bago nakaramdam si Manong na ayaw ni Lola#1 sa gusto nya mangyari. So may-I-move-forward si Manong at sya na ung nag-abot ng bayad. Panalo si Lola#1!

Parang ako lang... Pag wala ako sa mood, kunwari wala akong naririnig pag me nagpapaabot ng bayad. Hehe...

Tapos na ang kwento ni Lola#1 with Manong. Bumaba na si Manong paglampas ng Vicente Cruz.

Syang sakay naman ni Lola#2. Ayan! Kaya me Lola#1 kc me Lola#2. Wala rin syang kamalay-malay na tatarayan sya ni Lola#1. Sya kc e!

Ganito...

Si not-cute-boy na nasa unahan, nagtanong kay manong driver. Di ko naman narinig ung tanong. Ang narinig ko ung biglang nagsalita si Lola#2. Lakas ng boses e.

"Lampas na yun. Ang layo mo na. Bumaba ka at tumawid ka sa kabila. Sa Forbes, andun ung mga jeep papuntang Tayuman. Mapapalayo ka pa kung sa rotonda ka bababa kaya ngayon ka na bumaba."

Me point. Sumunod si lalaki. "Tumawid ka!" follow-up bilin ni Lola#2 nung nakababa na si Kuya.

Medyo hyper pala si Lola#2. Me mga bilin pa sa masang Pilipino. "Pag hindi mo alam ang daan, magtanong ka sa driver. Hindi naman lahat maaalala ng driver kung saan bababa. Ikaw yung may alam na hindi mo alam ung daan, ikaw ang magtanong. Ang hindi nagtatanong ay tanga." Take note: mag-isang sumakay si Lola#2. Wala syang kasama. Wala syang kausap.

Nagising ang katarayan ni Lola#1. Hinarap si Lola#2.

"Ikaw, tanga ka ba? Nagtatanong ka naman ano? E di hindi ka pala tanga", sabi ni Lola#1. Nagulat ako sa bonggang bonggang statement nya, at sa isip ko humahalakhak na ako. Off muna ang music. Exciting 'to.

"Oo, nagtatanong ako. Noong bago ako dito sa Maynila nagtatanong ako", sagot ni Lola#2. Feeling ko di pa nya gets na binara sya ni Lola#1.

"Tagasaan ka ba? Bago ka rin pala sa Maynila e. Mabuti naman at hindi ka pala tanga", hirit ni Lola#1. Feeling ko medyo nakaramdam na si Lola#2 kaya ang sagot nya ay...

"Leyte. Bisaya. Waray. Matapang."

"Nakakatakot ka pala", sagot ni Lola#1.

"Teacher ako", sabi ni Lola#2, at hindi ko alam kung anung koneksyon nun sa pagiging nakakatakot. Meron ba?

"Me increase daw kayong P9,000 ah", kantyaw ni Lola#1.

"Meron. Ipinaglaban namin yun. Me party list na ang mga guro, para mapagtanggol ang karapatan namin. Pati government employees meron na rin sa susunod na eleksyon." Ngayon nangampanya na si Lola#2. Ang dami nyang sinabi na di ko na lahat matandaan. Basta tungkol sa party-list. Kahit ako nairita, pero mas nangibabaw ung feeling na natatawa... at naghihintay ng susunod na banat ni Lola#1.

Si Lolo Driver natatawa din, pero hindi sumasabat sa usapan. Young-at-heart ito, ayaw makiuso.

Di na rin siguro kinaya ni Lola#1. Isang lingon sabay sabi ng "Blowout! Balato" at tumalikod. Di na nya ulit pinansin si Lola#2 hanggang makababa. Akala ko pa naman magiging friends sila at magpapalitan ng cel number.

Andun pa rin si Lola#2 nung me sumakay pang 2 lola. Tapos na ang barahan nun. Naisip ko lang. Makikisali rin kaya sila kung naabutan nila ung comedy act?

O di ba walang sense? Natawa lang talaga ako. Sa tingin nyo, sino ang panalo at kanino ako mas naaliw? Hehehe...